When Strangers Fix Your Sink: Navigating Tradespeople in Your Safe Space

It’s been a stressful few weeks for me, to say the least, which led me to write this post. I’ve recently had the not-so-fun experience of arranging and dealing with tradespeople in my home.

Now, first off, I want to say the people themselves have been absolutely lovely. However, like many neurodivergent individuals, I find it challenging having strangers in my home—the planning, the unpredictability, and most of all, the disruption of my personal safe space. It’s no fault of theirs, of course—they’re just doing their job—but it can feel like that saying, a bit like being a fish in a fishbowl, exposed and unsettled.

So instead of dwelling on the negatives, I thought I’d share a few things that help navigate the stress of it all.

1. Getting Quotes Without the Stress

The official advice is to collect three different quotes—unless you’ve used a company before and were happy with their work, in which case you might stick with what you know.

This can be tough, though, as it often means ringing around, chasing responses, and contacting not just three but multiple companies or individuals. (That’s after all the Googling, review reading, and asking around to even decide who to approach!)

If they have a website contact form, that’s my first port of call—it avoids a phone call, and ideally, they’ll get back to me via email. Realistically, though (and I know it’s not logical), I’d say there’s only about a 50% chance I’ll hear back—but it’s still worth a go.

When it comes to ringing, I create a simple script. If there’s no answer, I usually follow up with a text instead of leaving a voicemail. That gives me time to edit the message (even get AI to check it, if needed), and they have the information in writing. Plus, people are just more likely to reply to texts with texts—dodging the dreaded phone call!

When I have no choice but to call, I make it easier by saving the number in my phone beforehand—so I know it’s them and not a random cold caller. I keep bullet points or a short script handy on a notepad or in my notes app, and I take notes during the call if I can. I also ask them to text me the details afterwards, which, thankfully, they often do. My working memory isn’t great, and I tend to overthink, so having things in writing is always a win.

2. Arranging Trades

I can be a bit of a “yes” person, so I make sure I’m clear in my own head about the dates I can’t do—especially if the job requires me to be at home.

I always ask the person to confirm the date and time, and, if possible, how long they expect the job to take. I also check whether they’ll need anything specific—like where the stopcock is (plumbers ask that a lot), if they’ll be working outside but do they need access to power, or use of the loo.

These might seem like silly questions, and sometimes I feel awkward asking—but I always feel more prepared and less anxious when I’ve clarified everything in advance. When I haven’t asked, these things tend to pop up unexpectedly, which makes it all more stressful.

3. Staying Calm During Repairs

Since I’ve already asked in advance, I know what time I need to be ready. If I’m working from home, I allocate myself a room ahead of time (if l can’t work in my normal space) and often prep food so I don’t get caught up in that awkward “am I in the way?” feeling.

It’s totally normal to feel uneasy—so if it helps, try stepping out of the house around lunchtime. Tradespeople often take their own lunch breaks, so you likely won’t be needed during that time. Or you could use that window to go to the loo, grab your lunch, and just take a breather without worrying about getting in anyone’s way.

I also really recommend doing as many comforting or enjoyable things as possible throughout the day, especially if the job spans multiple days. It helps counterbalance the stress, especially if there are any unexpected delays or last-minute changes to the plan.

4. Regaining Your Space Afterwards

As soon as they’re gone, I clean and tidy the house—getting it back to feeling like my space again. I no longer have to work around these lovely, yet random, people I invited into my home. Once I’ve reset the space, I can finally start to slowly relax, it takes me a few days.

And throughout it all: be kind to yourself. Your struggles might be invisible to others, and chances are the tradespeople have little understanding of neurodiversity and if they do have no understanding about your way of working. They’re just there to do their job, not to judge. You’re doing the best you can so make sure to celebrate those small wins.

A Note to Any Tradespeople Reading

Clear and consistent communication—combined with setting clear expectations—can make all the difference. I know it might not seem like much, but offering the option to communicate via text or email, and being open to what may seem like “random” questions, really helps. Even something as simple as asking if the client has any questions can go a long way.

It’s also incredibly helpful to ask for permission in advance. For example, if you need access to a loo, I’ll always say yes—but I really appreciate knowing ahead of time. Similarly, being thoughtful about small things like removing shoes in areas you’re not working in, or checking in beforehand if you’ll need power—especially when working outside—this can ease a lot of stress, letting clients know when things are going to get loud. These are things your client may not have anticipated or factored in.

Recently, I wasn’t told that no one would be coming until the very moment they were due to arrive. It was due to staffing issues—nothing I could’ve predicted—but it completely threw my day. More than feeling annoyed at being let down, it brought on a deep sense of disorientation: “I had this planned. I was ready for that script, not this one.”

For people who rely on mental preparation to feel safe, a sudden change can feel like the rug being pulled out from under their feet. What was once a manageable day suddenly becomes unpredictable and unstructured. If I’d known even the night before—or earlier that morning—the stress would still have been there, but it would’ve been so much more manageable.

A Note of Thanks to the Nice Ones

So just in case any of those thoughtful tradespeople happen to be reading—I really want to thank you. The ones who take the time to communicate clearly, ask questions, show consideration, and offer flexibility... you make such a difference to the whole experience. For people like me, it turns what could be an overwhelming situation into something far more manageable—and even, dare I say, positive.

Whether you’re neurodivergent or just someone who values their personal space, navigating tradespeople can be surprisingly emotional. Here’s to better communication, kind expectations, and homes that feel safe—even when under repair.